oh how i miss this...

What is that...friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord to them... I love that song...as "sappy" as some may say it is, I love it. It is what I so cherish about college life. I met and fell in love with some of the most incredible people. I am so priviledged to call them my friends and to have served our Lord with them. May God forever bless these friendships and the memories. Thank you all for being my community. I am very much aware that my community must grow and that I must continue to BE in the Body of Christ. I confess that "moving on" is not easy for me. I am blessed that we have all loved each other so much through these changes and new places in life. I love you, friends.

old fashioned...

I have spent the last 3 days at Halsell Hill. I want to tell the world about this wonderful place, but that will come at a later time...there is so much to say about it. But while retreating these few days, I realized how deep my "old fashioned" roots go. I am what the world calls "old fashioned" to the core. I love the country. I love that it is still and calm - that sometimes you can hear a tractor going in the distance. I often sit and wonder about that man on that tractor - how hot he is, how long he has worked that land, how much he probably loves the solitude of the fields. I like small town life. I went to lunch with my great-aunt and uncle and my grandmother. We ate at one of the only restraunts in Cross Plains. The banker came in and talked for a while with us. He also bought our lunch for us. It was paid for when we went up to the front with the ticket. How wonderful it is that he wanted to bless us that way. I got to do a lot of porch sittin' this weekend. It was a wonderful time to sit and reflect...watch the sun come up and go down, watch the wildlife enjoy the space and freedom they have. I like stories. I like stories that my grandparents tell of falling in love or what college was like for them. I often wish that things were that way now. I like to hear the stories of the gentleman callers that would see a girl in a little town and ride trains and busses just to get to her to ask her dad if he could take her out for a little while. I like those stories a lot. I like to take a morning walk and have the freedom to go wherever I want to. I did that these few days. I like to go and feed the fish at the pond on my grandparent's place. Feeding the animals is a daily affair. I like that you rarely call someone to come by...you just show up and see if they can visit for a while. In the country most things can wait, so visiting always comes first. I like town get-togethers - fairs and festivals. I wish there were more of those. I guess really, I like things simple. It's always refreshing to go back to the simple things in life.

The Lord is simple in so many ways. He's really big and He is in control of all things and He is worthy to be praised, but He's simple. I like that about my relationship with the Lord - He loves me beyond my imagination, He desires me to love Him and worship Him, He loves when we are in fellowship and hanging out and He pursues me daily to do just that. It's an "old fashioned" romance...

my greatest struggle

Today in the midst of reading a book, it prompted me to go the Lord about some things. I must say that lately I have not been seeking the Lord or worshipping Him when He has prompted me or stirred my heart. I have been pretty disobedient. It is always such a trench when you get in to that way of life...it's hard to get out and to discover what the problem was in the first place. I was considering some sin tendencies that I deal with in my life on a regular basis. I found out several things about myself from this. I do not trust that my heart will not fail and that the Lord is my strength to overcome any temptation. I realized that I am not completely validated by the Lord. I don't believe that He is more than enough. I know that He is, but it is not always in my heart. Why? I think because I can't hear Him audibly tell me...because I am not spending enough time with Him. I sometimes only go to Him in desperate need...I should be going to Him to worship Him at His throne. I can't feel Him...but that's my flesh and not important to my needs in the Father anyway. There are other reasons that I'm not believing the Father. I must continue to work through them.

The bottom line is that I need to spend more time with Him. Not with books about Him or singing about Him...Time with Him. Pray for me as I leave this week to go retreat with our precious Savior. May I lay at His feet these next few days.

It is true...

Morning Star Chapel at Camp John Marc

My favorite place to pray

Isaiah 42:16
"I will lead the blind by a way they do not know,
In paths they do not know I will guide them
I will make darkness into light before them
And rugged places into plains
These are the things I will do,
And I will not leave them undone."

I don't know if I have ever used this verse in previous posts, but it has been the verse of this summer by far.

I have graduated from Texas A&M University as of one week ago. I am officially a former student. I must admit that it was not as exciting as I thought it would be. I think that my mind left College Station back in May when I was headed out for the internship. It was a good week in CS for many reasons, and I did enjoy my time there. There was some rush of crossing the stage, but most of the rush came from sitting in Java Joy with my new laptop enjoying all the things that the Lord had done in my life in the last few years. It was precious time. It was also wonderful to be surrounded by family and a few sweet friends.

Now I reside in Fort Worth, Texas. After months of praying hard and relinguishing any control of my life, the Lord has led me to the next stepping stone. I will be working in the Community Relations department doing Customer Service at the children's hospital that I have been interning at the summer. I am super excited. This is something that I discovered passion in just this summer. I know very little about my position...it was created for me and the little details have not been worked out. I will be starting on September 6th. I'll keep everyone updated...

So, I must say that the Lord is faithful. In one week while I was away at camp the Lord tied up some loose ends. I left with no job offeres and came home to three. I have since heard from one other place. I think that it is interesting how the Lord desires just US. He desires our entire hearts. He doesn't desire our desires or anything else. He just desires US and our entire being...our will. He wants us to intimately give ourselves over to Him. He truly brings us to a place where we can give our entire selves to Him. He took me there for sure. I did nothing on my breaks at camp except BE with Him. It was good. I don't think that the next stepping stone will be any easier. I don't know if it will be grad school, or a relationship, or another job, but He will always bring me to the end of myself no matter what the next stepping stone is.

He likes me blind. He likes me to see too. But I must be in a place where I don't see before I can truly see what He has. He promises us that He will guide us in paths we do not know. I believe that. I will never be able know the next path, but He promises to get me there and to not leave things undone. So while there is a long list of things my heart desires to do, the Lord will lead in His time and He will not leave things in my life undone. Praise Him!!!