for every season...

...God is so faithful...

It has been more than one blog could include when it comes to this recent transition. I have started my job, moved into my own apartment, joined a gym, found a church that I think that I may end up joining, found a great group of girls within that church that I can fellowship weekly with, gone through a distinct period of absolute numbness and now I have discovered (again) what a truly prideful person I am and have recently and continue to be broken by the Lord daily. I am grateful to feel again and to see my desperate need for the Lord by the minute. It has not been the easiest of trasitions but it has absolutely been one of the most peaceful transitions I've ever been through. For that I bless the Lord. His Spirit is rich and powerful.

I was recently reminded that my passionate, assertive, strong personality needs to be carefully packaged, because at times my personality can be very intimidating. This was reminded to me by a woman that I work with that dearly loves the Lord and challenges me on a daily basis. She would rather build my character that my work ethic. It is encouraging and hard all at the same time. In the midst of her reminder, I remembered that last year a friend had told me that I was very "sober" yet still passionate and that my countenance was really inviting. That was one of the greatest compliments I had ever received. So in hearing that I had regressed, my heart broke and failure came rushing to my heart. I was so grateful for a sister telling me in the Spirit what she saw in me, but I so disappointed in my regression and humbled at my weakness. I finally began to see that this regression was in response to my recent, difficult transition - it is a defense mechanism. It is a very obvious defense mechanism. So I have once again been reminded of one of my most prominent weakness - the way I package my passion. It is very difficult to learn the hard things about fallen self over and over again...it is very helpless...

When we are weak, He is SO very strong. I continue to learn this. I am thankful for my passion and my vision, for it is the way He created me, but He's always intended to refine both things and He is doing just that. Praise to my Savior, Jesus Christ!